In the beginning of January of this year, I was going out with a guy, Nick. I've known this guy since freshman year. It was also in freshman year, when I had a crush on him. It took me over 2 years, before I actually started going out with him. How did it happen? ...because of a Christmas card that didn't know how to shut up. (-_-) So we started going out, and I felt for the time being, that it was all fine and dandy. Being the lazy person I was though, whenever he asked me to go out, I never went. We met up in school, did things after school with the other girls, and he would take me home.
At the rate we were going, I felt it wasn't bad. Like, it felt steady. Thinking about how we held hands and how we kissed and everything made me feel giddy back then. However, maybe, like a week into the relationship, I started doubting. I felt that I wasn't making an effort in hanging out with him. I didn't feel like I was being a good girlfriend at all. When I was talking to a friend of mine about this, I started crying. I couldn't talk to him either (so I had to do it over MSN, -_-) In the end, I felt one of the two things. One: I was falling out of love for him. Two: That I felt inferior and I wasn't good enough for him.
In the end I broke up with him. Two things pissed me off after that. One: I'm not sure if this happened during or after our break-up. I remember I was typing my feelings out on AIM to him. Like I had a lot to say, so I typed it all. And what does he say? "Good Night" -__-; I remember after that, I just signed off and I just didn't talk to him anymore. Two: About a week after I broke up with him, he started going back out with his ex. It was then when I realized that men sucked. 8) Especially guys like him. I'm not trying to say he was playing around with me. I know he's not that kind of guy. He's just the type who finds comfort in having girlfriends or the type that just falls for people too easily (I have another friend like that too, and I think it's just a pisser-offer that they do that...Actually, I think my brother's like that too. ._.;)
In any case, what was I trying to say here?....oh.
My issue was this. I mentioned that I don't talk to him anymore and how I was just trying to give him the cold shoulder forever...And he still has the nerve to talk to me as if nothing happened......
and being the retard I am, I acknowledged him and I say hi to him once in a while..... >____>; During this semester, I did managed to avoid him for some time. But then,
A friend of mine, Teresa, told me that he was planning on giving me a Christmas gift...
I was like "what?" Like, what is his motive? What does he think he can gain from doing this? Not to mention, I didn't get anyone (but one person) a gift this Christmas because I didn't have money. I told people not to get me things cause I felt super bad that they went through the trouble of getting me stuff when I didn't (in the end, I got a lot of things anyways. thanks guys. 8D... -_-) But for him, I just didn't understand why he would give me anything. So I took extra precaution as to not see him. I stopped meeting up with a friend in front of her class cause he has class that time in that room too.
....so what am I trying to say again? jeezus, I go off topic too much. -__________-; uh. I guess, what I'm trying to figure out is...what should I do? Should I just stop avoiding him and say hi to him and stuff? Be friends again and act like we never went out? Should I still continue to avoid him?..... =_=; My head's starting to hurt from thinking about this. Actually, this shit's been on my mind since the summer, actually (as if I wasn't dealing with enough stuff then -_-) In all honesty, I couldn't figure out why he even wanted to go out with me. Out of pity? Well, he said that after I got my haircut and started dressing a bit more feminine and shit that I looked better. Was it cause of looks (hell no, this shouldn't even be an option. People can say all they want, but I think I look bad ._.) Was it cause of the reason I mentioned before, and that he THOUGHT he liked me too because I told him I still sorta liked him since freshman year?
.....
Ah who cares. -_-
So in any case, I took the time to write all this crap. I should have taken this time to write my fucking college essay instead. -______-; dammit.
I don't think anyone's gonna take their time to read this garbage anyways.
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In other news, I still haven't gotten Photoshop from my friend. That ass-fart. >:| so I've been drawing in sketchbook. -_- sigh. I'm worried about college now too. Shit.
<EDIT> No I'm not sad about it and I'm not gonna go into a depression regarding this issue. I have other shit to distract me 8D and they work wonders. </EDIT>
